So long 2004! You served me well.

About this time last year, I was examining my life and didn't like how it was going. I decided 2004 was going to be a better year and I was going to make positive changes.

My health was not so great. I had chronic brain fog. I was constantly exhausted from candidas and who knows what else. Every year since about 1990 I would get a deep hacking cough in the fall which last until spring. The force behind the cough would leave my ribs and stomach area raw and painful. The last time I felt happily energetic was the summer of 1995, just before my 3rd child was born. That was the year I developed fungal rashes that still plague me. I had to pick and choose where to spend my limited daily ration of energy. If my health problems were not enough, my guilt would weigh heavy on me for not being physically able to take care of my family and home the way I wanted to. It was a rather depressing existence.

I recalled reading in a joke list of all places that some people were having health successes with hydrogen peroxide. That is where my research started. This led me to educate-yourself.org, Don Croft, the zapper and chemtrails. I read everything I could for a week. I got brave and contacted Don directly asking if he thought a zapper would help me.

The zapper did indeed help me and my family. My son coughed up two worms within 5 minutes of wearing it. Thank God I didn't throw up from seeing that as we were in the middle of a grocery store. From the first day zapping I stopped taking my thrice daily asthma medication because I felt okay and simply forgot about it. I've only needed it once or twice since then. Soon enough a cyst in the corner of my eye mysteriously disappeared. The other dramatic improvement for me was the first dose of Doc Von Peter's chembuster remedy that I started about after a month of zapping. I did dishes, laundry and mopped the floor all before noon. That usually would have taken all my energy and the whole day to accomplish. When I realized what I'd already done and how I still had energy left over I was dancing in the kitchen! I was no longer a prisoner in my body, I was free!!

When I came to realize there was a pro-active and positive way I could change my environment and fight evil in the world by gifting, I heard a voice in my head say "You were meant to do this". I found the existing orgone forums at the time confusing and contradicting. I had a lot of questions and Don graciously answered them all. Like alot of beginners, I only made a few tbs at first. I had to find out for myself if this was for real. I did the freezer test, using ordinary tap water that was run through a Brita filter. The stalagmites that formed on the ice cubes with a simple tower buster on the shelf above proved to me these devices indeed held some kind of energy.

Between believing gifting was the answer and actually doing it, fear had a hold on me. What if they try to kill me or what if they try to hurt my children? I knew that plenty of people were already doing it and seemed to get through it just fine. I was convinced that once I got a Harmonic Protector and a Succor Punch I would be protected from whatever they throw at me.

I was expecting the HP to arrive and checked the mailbox every day in anticipation. The day came when I felt this huge wonderful energy pulling me towards the front door and I knew it was finally here! Putting it on felt like a great big hug descended on me.

I noticed my dreams were now in Technicolor. My children reported their bad dreams stopped once they started wearing their own HP's. I watched their confidence grow as they felt protected by Carol Croft's modest creation. When they showed up at school wearing them, all their friends wanted one too.

I wasn't sure what to do with the SP. Only thing I knew for sure was that it would stop any surveillance from trailing me while I gifted. I keep it on 24 hours a day to have some sense of privacy in my home. I got a kick out seeing the telephone repair men working on the neighborhood box from the first day I turned it on. It was then I started getting phone calls from the phone number 000-000-0000. Mysteriously, those calls stopped after I posted about them. Can they be anymore obvious? Thanks for the confirmations guys!

At first I just prayed through the SP, which I referred to as a prayer enhancing. When I joined in the chat blasts on ethericwarriors.com, I learned how to blast with it. I sent energy from my heart through the SP to magnify my intent at the target. Somehow I started holding the crystal to my forehead and realized I could see vibrant colors and sometimes got visions of the targets we were blasting. That's how I found it's potential as a sight enhancer as well as an etheric blasting weapon.

Next step was gifting. I had never felt as alive as right after that first gifting run. What a rush! I'm not one for drugs or alcohol but that high I get from gifting beats any mind altering substance I've ever tried. It's very addicting! Selfishly, if I'm feeling down or out of sorts the first thing I think of is gifting to set things right again.

I'd heard about Reptile Repellant and wanted one, but I haven't got one yet. Now I'm wondering if I need one. Once while shopping, I was aware of this little girl about 10 years old sitting on the floor beside me. When I walked away from her I turned to see her face. I was shocked to see her eyes were totally black and glaring hate. My response was much giggling. All I had with me was my HP and that seems to be enough to bait dark hearted reptiles.

I got my initiations pretty early. I'd had a tire slashed. I've had the helicopter fly bys, the first one close enough to vibrate the house. The moment I thought "I'm not giving them the satisfaction of looking" it stopped. Suspiciously, ants, maggots, black flies, fleas and a rat invaded my home during the last year. My telephone wires have been cut from the inside. My emails go missing, both to and from. I've been followed by psychics, who are pretty easy to scare off by staring back at them and thinking "I know what you're doing here and it's not going to work!". Then there were the psychic and scalar attacks causing headaches and heart pains. Sometimes I would confuse events for natural occurrences, and there's probably things that I dismissed as just that. These intimidation attempts just proved to me that orgone works. Why else would they consider me a target? Now I had to keep gifting to get these cretins off my back and off my planet!

Everyone needs goals in life and now I had some whoppers! I felt that my life finally has a purpose and the physical energy to back it up. It appeared to me that puzzle pieces were falling into place at every corner. Reality sunk in as I realized the magnitude of the job at hand. A small city can seem huge when the goal is to grid every few blocks with orgone. And I live in a suburb of Toronto, a mega city. I considered moving to a small town so that gifting it would be a reachable goal. Then I thought if I don't do it, who else will? So I did the next best thing. I put the word out for other gifters to find me. And it worked!

I've met some fantastic people who also experience the joy of gifting. You know what I love about gifters? Sure there's that "I love how it feels" reason to gift, but for the most part we gift for humanity on a broad scale. Gifters are the most selfless bunch of people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. The give up their time, money and resources to make the world a better place for everyone. And I'm not just talking about their immediate area, they go out of their way gifting cities they may never visit again and places they won't personally benefit from.

My main gifting partner, Kim, became an instant friend from the moment I met her. She introduced me to many new ideas including radionics and the successful tag team technique we use in chat blasts of circling a target (food, person, place) counter clockwise to remove negative energy by casting it away to where it won't hurt anyone anymore, then circling clockwise to raise beneficial energy. She has a high respect for nature and has taught me to gift trees whenever possible. She's shown me generosity, love and friendship in a non-judgemental way that I've not experienced before and welcomed my family into hers. She introduced me to Steve Baron, who has probably done more for the gifting movement in Southern Ontario than anyone including cbswork in California. A modern day hero who puts his money where his mouth is, this man does something orgone related every single day. His generosity has sponsored many gifting runs for myself and others. When you walk into either of their homes, the energy makes you feel as if you've just stepped into heaven. I am honoured to call them my friends.

I also got to meet Don Croft in July. It was him who noticed my psychic potential and in his persistent style kept pushing me to give him answers. I'd had flashes here and there my whole life but I'd only ever tried asking once. It's a bit freaky and disconcerting knowing what's going to happen. Usually I ran from it, choosing at the time to believe in coincidences instead. I constantly doubted my instincts, even when I knew people were lying to me. I thought everyone could be psychic if they wanted to be, I just didn't want to.

He showed me the benefits when looking for implants on my youngest daughters. They had been checked and cleared the day before. They mentioned an incident from overnight and I knew one of them was implanted as a result. Don asked me where I thought it was. Her cheek. His dowsing confirmed what I'd said, one received an implant, the other did not. This was validated with a zapchecker. No one was more surprised than me. I've come to accept it as a gift.

Being psychic, at least in my case, doesn't mean I can see through everyone or everything. If I want to see something, I generally have to look for it. The information is not always readily available like some people think. Sometimes I don't understand the answers I'm given. And sometimes an answer doesn't come. I'm still fairly new at this and have been told with practice it gets stronger.

Another incredible gift I received last spring is being able to see the magnificent beings in the etheric world. While looking at pictures on cbswork site I was in awe that he could see them and I could not. I asked for the ability to see them. Now I can. At first it was just in pictures, but immediately after disabling implants with neodymium magnets, I could see them around us in real life. Amazingly, one of my daughters had been seeing them for quite some time which explained to me why she talks to flowers and amuses the neighbours by singing to fairies.

Like everyone else, I've waded through a ton of disinfo. Discernment has always been my number one priority and I've still been fooled more than once. Now I automatically rule out anything involving channeling, rituals, chanting, repetitions and rote. Anything to do with mainstream is quickly dismissed. I ponder how I feel after reading anything. I question the reliability of any source. That includes religions and our distorted versions of the bible. Don't get me wrong, I believe quite strongly in God. My visions are more pronounced when I ask him if there's anything he want's to show me. I've probably missed out on a few things that could be a benefit but have no regrets since I've created a nicer little corner of the world for myself than when I began. I also reserve the right to make mistakes.

I think the hardest thing to accept was my monarch programming. When I described some events in my life to Don in our early correspondence his response was "Lucky you: your life's been shit already, so there's nowhere to go but 'up' for you now ". And he was right. He didn't come right out and say it but I'm sure he recognized my history as typical monarch programming and saw through the mind control tactics used on me. He did say, and has been proven right by the reports I've gotten since, that folks with similar histories and situations are drawn to this grassroots effort of gifting. How dare they manipulate our whole lives and think they can get away with it? I for one will not sit down and take it anymore! The payback aspect is a hell of a motivation in itself and proved to be uplifting and empowering with gifting and blasting alone. In contrast to my life before, now I stand up for what I believe and do something about it.

I learned how empowering our thoughts really are. I believe this is a huge part of humanity that they have stolen and hidden from us, the knowledge of the true power we all have inside us. I think of all the prayers in my life that have been answered. I've noticed the difference between wishing and receiving is the amount of belief I put into it. For example, I knew that if cbswork was seeing etheric beings than I could too. So I asked, and believed I would receive this gift without any doubt that it would happen.

Blasting has become a big part of my life. I fall asleep blasting my family, friends and enemies. Sometimes I wake up and have been dreaming of blasting in my sleep and can still feel my energy going out. As I go about my daily life, I blast everyone who crosses my path. Usually I just send my energy out and let God deal them the results. Neighbours, teachers, children, shoppers, cashiers, pedestrians, drivers, everyone I make eye contact with. Those who act suspicious and look away or refuse to look me in the eye get an extra special blast long after they have left my field of vision. Depending on the circumstance, sometimes I feel anger go out to them like a lightning bolt (Spy on me will you?). Then there are those people who break out in smiles as wide as their faces will hold. They radiate love and get a blessing from me in return. I've had the habit of blessing people without their knowledge for over 20 years. Selfishly, it's when blessing others that I feel most comforted, happy and loved, so I did it often.

So, as you can see, 2004 has been a fantastic year, exceeding my expectations in every respect. I got my health and energy back. I learned many new ways of coping successfully in this newly revealed to me reality. Not to mention all the big words I was forced to look up and learn from reading anything written by Don. Fears and doubt have been replaced with courage and hope. I found a reason worth living and fighting for and most importantly the methods to do it!

May this new year bring blessings beyond your wildest dreams to all who read this.
(Ahh that felt good. I can't help it. I told you I was selfish!):D