Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Training Tips for the NSA and their minions

Stopped by Steve's yesterday and picked up some tbs that we made on the weekend. The chemwalls moving in were pointing out to us the places that need more gifting, giving a donut hole effect around Steve's territory. Tom reported from Oakville, 2 cities over, he could see chem soup over my territory, Mississauga, which is in between where they are. I told Steve to keep an eye on it while I gifted on my way home. It was around 11:30 and my kids would be home for lunch at noon so I wanted to get as much done as possible.

I watched for towers to see which ones needed gifting. The ones I could see looked fine. There must be some hidden ones because I've had to rely on my left hand buzzing to indicate where to place the tbs, more proof to me that gridding is the best way to go.

First one I planted was near the beginning of a highway. The ground was newly frozen from the last 2 days of frost so I expected some resistance while digging. Happily there was none, it just looks frozen. Perhaps that's due to all the rain and warmer than normal temperatures we've been getting since the Mega cb hit Lake Ontario November 1st.

I felt drawn to a city park with a creek running between it and emptying into Lake Ontario. I'd grown up around there and have fond memories of my youth in this park. I parked near the creek and loaded my pockets with tbs. Next one went into the partially frozen creek. Only the edges weren't frozen, a thin layer of ice on top. No confirmations yet but it felt right.

Started walking south towards the lake on a path when I noticed (clue 1) a white haired man in a (clue 2) lighter-than-the-weather-calls-for beige jacket walking down the center of the parking lot past me. He was walking quickly, like a man on a mission with somewhere to go, and (clue 3) looking at me from the corner of his eyes. I stopped and watched to see what he was up to. Of the 10 cars or so in the parking lot, he chooses to walk (clue 4) beside MY car to get to the path. My jaw dropped as I watched incredibly as this guy stops mid step and (clue 5) checks out what's on the front seat of my car! He starts walking and steps back again to make sure he saw what he saw. Yes Mr. Spy-Who-Gave-Himself-Away, those are tbs and an EP.

So, hands on my hips by now, I'm just standing around waiting to see what he's up to. His face drops when he sees me looking at him and scoots away then stops about 10 feet from my car. He's doing this dance, walking away, coming back, an animated pacing thing within 2 square feet of ground as he's fighting to stay put. I'm blasting and he seems to be saying to himself "what do I do? what do I do?". Haha. He thinks he's blending in by standing around smoking a cigarette forgetting that just a moment ago he was looking like he was heading somewhere important.

In retrospect, I wish I would have confronted him. Next time. Instead, I was annoyed so I got in my car and went to the other end of the parking lot closer to the lake. He's still standing in the same spot I left him, trying to maintain his blending in cover. I blast him and he starts moving along in different directions. I don't want to let go until I see where he's going to.

Another car pulls up behind mine. I can see the driver staring at me (clue) through my rearview mirror. Another white haired older guy. I blast him for good measure and immediately his head falls to the side as if he fell asleep. Huh? A few more cars pull into the lot. As they go by the guys head straightens out as I look to see who's arriving. Perhaps that was a plan to distract me from the original guy. When I looked for the first guy he was gone. As soon as I blast the guy behind me again his head falls over again like he's passed out. A few more times of blasting and stopping proves to me my blasting is having an effect on this guy.

Mr. Spy-Who-Gave-Himself-Away comes back in a car this time and parks beside Mr. Sleeping-On-The-Job. Immediately I blast him. I couldn't see his face, but was amused by a rather large unleashed dog who starts barking and growling while running to his car. He turned around and left in a hurry.

Thinking my fun time with them was over I got out to get on with gifting. That's when I notice 2 guys in a blue car staring at me as I walked past. I blast, the older one turned away quickly, the other younger guy continues to stare with a scowl on his face. I wasn't sure about them at this point, so continued on my merry way throwing tbs in the water when I felt no one was watching me.

A woman walking her dog on the beach while talking on a cell phone approached me. I got this idea in my head that it was a photo phone and any second she was going to position herself with the camera facing me. She didn't let me down. Of course I smiled and waved for the camera She couldn't see me but I found it funny how fast she and her dog left when I blasted them both.

I picked up some rocks to fake out any spies who may still be in the parking lot. I only threw them in the creek when I was sure I was being watched, like when another old guy approached me on the dock that runs along side the creek and out the lake a bit. I didn't blast until I made sure he saw me throwing a rock into the creek.

The blue car was now in a different position across 2 parking spots. I don't think they knew I was coming as I could hear them talking and definitely heard the word "implant". It went quiet for a second then their voices got louder making sure I could hear of how they were cleaning their car and washing windows. Uh huh.

I heard a cracking noise and turned to see a flock of Canadian Geese land on the creek, breaking the top layer of ice in the spot where I threw the first tb. How's that for the confirmation I'd been looking for?

Getting back into my car I see the guy behind me is still sleeping. Gee, I hope I didn't kill him.

I'm giving clues and hints here on what alerted me because obviously these guys are not well trained in the art of surveillance and blending in. Guess budget cutbacks are effecting their department too. And what's with sending older white haired guys to follow me? Is it some kind of NSA trademark?

Seeing all those old guys reminded me of the Royal Canadian Legion just down the street. So I gifted that too.

Went back to the North side of the park as I knew there was a dam along the creek and felt it needed gifting. Parked my car, a grey haired jogger runs past me. I guess he hasn't earned the white hair prestige yet. I hear a rumble and look up into the sky to see a white helicopter. Cool. Then these 2 guys who looked like drug addicts appear out of no where with fishing rods. Yeah, good plan. Fishing on a December afternoon. Not obvious at all.

By this time I was fed up with their silly attempts to intimidate me and sent out a blast that I was hoping would reach a mile. It got quiet after that and I gifted in peace.

I came to the dam and was surprised how much it had changed in 20 years. Go figure. The water level was down about 5-10 feet from it's previous glory. The original dam was knocked down with the concrete strewn about and newer lower one built. I recalled my carefree youth spent diving from the top of the dam and swimming in the water below. Snapping turtles used to show up from time to time. I was saddened to think the youth of today would never get the chance to experience all that.

I studied the water flow over the dam and wasn't surprised to see there were no fish. I felt compelled to look because of seeing those guys fishing earlier.

I gifted some more up the nature trail and turned around when my pockets were empty. The sky was a clear bright blue along the path I had gifted. I found one more spot I felt needed a gift and used the emergency one from my purse. A few times I felt light headed and off balance but I was too happy to give it any thought.

I had an appointment at 1:30 that would take a half hour to get to and here it was 12:45. I'd already abandoned my kids to their own devices during their lunch hour as I just felt this was too important. In case your wondering, the kids survived. =) I had 15 minutes left to gift that I figured I would do on my way there.

As I was about to pass the west entrance to the park on the other side of the creek I felt compelled to gift there. Maybe it was because they had it chained off. I left my car and gifted as I hiked some, forgetting to bring a shovel or spade. Found some spots to gift anyway but still drawn to the creek. A dove was waiting for me to show me where to gift there. I found a really great spot because of that dove but I won't mention where.

Heading back to the car I see this old guy behind me, talking on the phone and he stops at the place I just gifted. Won't they ever give up? It's 1:15 now, I'm late and considering canceling my appointment because the more they bug me the more I resolve to get rid of them permanently off my planet!

I'm glad I decided to stop for the day though. Kim's sister is a Reflexologist in training and needed some feet to practice on. I gifted the highway out the window on the way. By the time I got there my whole body was stiff. After that treatment I felt great!

I had a long well rested sleep last night and I'm ready to go out and gift again. Better not let me catch you following me this time because I won't back down and you'll just encourage me to go out again tomorrow.


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